Thinking is tricky business.
How we see, think about, and talk to ourselves informs our sense of self. To have a healthier thought life, it’s essential to rebuild our self-awareness on a strong foundation. That begins with thinking true thoughts about ourselves rather than negative ones.
In theory, it should be easy to simply change self-defeating, irrational thoughts. Can’t you just decide to stop thinking harmful thoughts? Unfortunately, retraining your brain isn’t quite that straightforward.
Suppressing Irrational Thoughts Doesn’t Work
When we try to suppress our thoughts, they just become stronger. Scholars refer to this as the ironic process theory. The more you try not to think about, say, an orange frog, the harder it will be to stop thinking about it.
If you try to suppress the negative, irrational thoughts you have about yourself, they just become more pervasive. Social psychologists, such as Harvard University’s Daniel Wegner, have scientifically proven that when told not to think about a particular subject, people’s brains can’t resist thinking about it. Therefore, suppressing unwanted thoughts won’t give you the results you want.
Forcing yourself not to think negative thoughts won’t work in the end. Instead, it’s vital to identify the underlying self-talk that leads to those thoughts. Becoming aware of how you speak to yourself paves the way for lasting change.
Eliminate Unhealthy Self-Talk
The way we talk to ourselves is automatic and often unconscious. Whether our thoughts are true and rational or not, our brains recognize them as valid. Erroneous beliefs etch themselves into our minds and become part of our self-awareness before we realize it.
Luckily, training your brain to replace destructive thoughts with productive ones will transform your inner world. Health-giving thoughts have a positive emotional payoff. For example, eliminating unworthy talk means you enjoy more grace. And as you get to know your self-talk better, you’ll become more self-aware.
Get to Know Yourself Better
Knowing yourself well naturally leads to a greater sense of self-awareness. When you understand how you think, it becomes easier to pinpoint—and transform—unhealthy thought patterns. We developed the Yada! Assessment to help you know yourself better than ever before. This assessment pairs well with my (Les’s) upcoming book, Bad Thoughts, co-authored with pastor Judah Smith.
Sermon meets psychology in Bad Thoughts, a practical guidebook to help you begin overcoming your unhealthy thought patterns and discover lasting inner well-being. Lasting inner health starts by curbing your compulsive negativity. This book will teach you to release false guilt, stop people-pleasing, extinguish self-doubt, embrace humility, and stop questioning your inherent value.
If you’re ready to break free of your harmful thoughts and take control of your inner world, Bad Thoughts just might be for you. It’s possible to retrain your thought patterns. And once you learn how to control your thoughts, your world changes for the better. Learn more and pre-order your copy here.
Do you struggle with unhealthy self-talk? In what ways have you rebuilt healthier thought patterns? We’d love to hear from you in the comments.
