Category

Conflict

Jul 16
Love10

A Battle for His Time: Sports Versus Marriage

By Communication, Conflict One Comment

My Husband Spends the Majority of his Time Involved in Sports. Do I need to change, or does he? So you’re married to a sports nut, and it’s causing division in your relationship. Should your spouse change his (or her!) ways, or should you? In this video, we suggest adjustments, compromises, and possible boundaries to implement in order to bring more harmony to your marriage. Are you married to a sports fanatic? What are some things you have done to bring harmony to your marriage? Have you become involved in your spouse’s sports interest in order to cultivate shared time…

Read More
Jul 14
Love53

6 Things To Do When Happiness Fades in Your Marriage

By Conflict, Self Reflection 91 Comments

You’ve begun to feel unhappy in your marriage. You and your spouse haven’t been spending time together like you used to. There’s distance between the two of you, and your interactions have cooled. As blissfully happy as you were when you got married, you can’t imagine how you got to this point. This is supposed to be your soulmate, right? So what is going on? Do you even know this person any more? Long before we ever get married, we imagine that once we’re in a marriage with our soulmate, that person will meet our every need. But that’s not…

Read More
Jul 09
Love13

Value Clash: When In-Laws Cause Conflict

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family No Comments

In-Laws: What Do I Do When My Spouse Acts Differently With His/Her Parents? It’s common for married couples to experience conflict when their values clash with those of one or both sets of in-laws, and especially if one spouse is prone to falling in line with his or her family members when they are together. In this video, we address the need for spouses to communicate authentically and empathically when facing conflict involving their in-laws. Does your spouse behave differently when he or she is spending time with his or her family of origin? What are some constructive techniques you have…

Read More
Jul 07
Love10

5 Tips for Fighting Well With Your Spouse

By Conflict, Self Reflection No Comments

Conflict is such an important part of the marriage relationship, and it’s unavoidable. It is the price we pay for a deeper level of intimacy. Fighting a good fight can bring you closer together as partners–you’ll walk through some troubled times together and come out on the other side, more connected than ever. Here are five tips to help you effectively navigate conflict in your marriage and learn how to fight well. 1. Don’t View Conflict as a Red Flag How often you fight or what you fight about has no correlation to the likelihood of divorce. Frequency of conflict…

Read More
Jul 02
Love13

Marriage and Privacy – Can they Coexist?

By Conflict, Time No Comments

I am a newlywed and I’m not used to the lack of privacy. Does he need to allow my privacy? Marriage introduces a number of major changes in the life of the newlywed–not the least of which is a newfound lack of privacy. In this video, Drs. Les and Leslie discuss the transition from single to married life in terms of privacy, including ideas to help newlywed couples logistically handle giving one another their personal space. Did marriage alter your definition of personal space? How have you and your spouse adapted to shared living quarters, and do you allow one…

Read More
Jun 30
Love11

5 Things You Need To Know Before You Get Married

By Communication, Conflict No Comments

Marriage is the most sacred relationship we can enter into. It is ordained by God, and is the oldest institution. It is spoken of throughout the Bible, and is sacred in every way. But it isn’t always easy, and you will never have all the answers. Couples often enter into marriage with rose-colored glasses. When two very different, and admittedly selfish, people join together until death do us part, it can be hard to see exactly what problems could arise. There are five things I wish I knew before I got married, and I want to share them with you….

Read More
Jun 25
Love11

How to Create Intimacy in Marriage In Spite of Your Past

By Communication, Conflict No Comments

My husband has more sexual experience than me. I always wonder if I measure up. HELP! Having a spouse who engaged in sexual activity with someone other than you prior to your marriage can create anxiety, discomfort, and distance in your relationship. Likewise, past sexual experiences with individuals other than your spouse can generate guilt, shame, and a toxic environment in your marriage. In this video, Drs. Les and Leslie talk about the importance of leaving the past behind and creating an intimate marriage based in the here and now where both spouses can thrive. If your spouse is more…

Read More
Jun 18
Love8

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

By Conflict One Comment

Is the saying “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” true? In today’s video, Drs. Les and Leslie tackle the accuracy of the saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” They provide hurting spouses with potential ways to protect themselves as they attempt to salvage their marriages, and to discern whether the offending spouse is sincere in his or her efforts to change past behaviors and build a healthier relationship. If your spouse had an affair in the past, was your relationship successfully reconciled? What boundaries did you set, and how did your spouse hold himself or herself accountable for past…

Read More
Apr 27
Love9

How To Keep Conflict From Turning Toxic

By Conflict No Comments

Whenever a conflict erupts between us, it eventually ends with one of us checking out, either emotionally or physically leaving the room. This has become a fairly predictable pattern and it seems to get us nowhere. What are we doing wrong? Few things are more destructive to a new marriage than coping with conflict by withdrawing. And since this has become a repetitive way of dealing with your conflict, it is particularly important that you take note of some important research conducted by Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington. For more than twenty years, he has been studying…

Read More
Mar 30
Love8

How To Make Anger Your Ally

By Conflict 2 Comments

We are the first to admit it. Both of us are expressive people and when it comes to expressing anger, we don’t hold much back. We’ve kind of come to accept that, but lately, it seems that anger is rearing it’s head a little too often. What do we do if anger is a repetitive problem? Marriage and anger go together. Of course any relationship can generate considerable anger, but a typical marriage relationship often generates more anger than any other. Why? For one reason, the sheer amount of time spent together creates more opportunity for anger to erupt. In…

Read More