Conflict

Whenever a conflict erupts between us, it eventually ends with one of us checking out, either emotionally or physically leaving the room. This has become a fairly predictable pattern and it seems to get us nowhere. What are we doing wrong? Few things are more destructive to a new marriage than coping with conflict by withdrawing. And since this has become a repetitive way of dealing with your conflict, it is particularly important that you take note of some important research conducted by Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington. For more than twenty years, he has been studying…

We are the first to admit it. Both of us are expressive people and when it comes to expressing anger, we don’t hold much back. We’ve kind of come to accept that, but lately, it seems that anger is rearing it’s head a little too often. What do we do if anger is a repetitive problem? Marriage and anger go together. Of course any relationship can generate considerable anger, but a typical marriage relationship often generates more anger than any other. Why? For one reason, the sheer amount of time spent together creates more opportunity for anger to erupt. In…

When we were dating we had a fight every now and then, but that pales in comparison to what it’s been like since we’ve been married. I know some couples who say they never fight and that makes me all the more nervous about my marriage. Does having conflicts mean that we will get a divorce? Like you, we have heard some mature couples, married for decades, who say that in all their years of marriage they have never had one single fight. Pretty impressive, huh? But in all honesty, we often wonder about these couples. They seem so proud,…