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spouse Archives - SYMBIS Assessment

How to Appreciate Your Spouse More

By Intimacy, Marriage 2 Comments

Do you appreciate your spouse enough? It’s easy to get swept up into our daily routines and forget to show them appreciation. But fully appreciating your spouse is one key to keeping your love alive and your marriage thriving. Want to know how to appreciate your spouse more? Read on. Notice the Little Things Again Appreciation is all about taking notice of the details that slip past us when we’re caught up in the daily grind. To notice the little things, we have to slow down and be intentional. We must mean to notice the details if we want to…

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How Facts vs. Feelings Influence Your Spouse

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

In marriage, spouses influence one another significantly–both consciously and unconsciously. Knowing whether your spouse is more influenced by facts or by feelings can add a great deal of productivity to your conversations. We’re all influenced primarily by either facts or feelings. When spouses’ primary points of influence clash, this can lead to difficulties in communication. But when we know the driving force behind one another’s primary influences, we can better anticipate how to communicate successfully. So how do you determine whether your spouse is influenced by feelings or facts? How to Know if Your Spouse is Influenced by Facts People…

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What to Do When You and Your Spouse Have Experienced Shared Trauma

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection 4 Comments

We often hear stories from couples where one spouse is struggling to recover after a prolonged trauma or a traumatic event, and their partner needs advice on how to help them through it. Sometimes, though, both husband and wife are dealing with trauma, and they don’t know how best to support each other. Perhaps you shared a traumatic experience like a health emergency, a car accident, or the loss of a loved one. It may have been an event that happened relatively quickly, or it could have been a sustained crisis that went on for an extended period of time….

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Practical Ways to Affirm Your Spouse

By Communication, Marriage 6 Comments

Chances are you are tuned in to your spouse’s self-esteem and notice when they are feeling vulnerable. When you spot this trait in your partner ask yourself, “Where is my spouse feeling most vulnerable right now, and what can I do to help build them up and affirm who they are?” There are practical ways you can boost your partner’s confidence. It can be easy to get stuck in somewhat of a rut (like complimenting how your partner looks every-single-day by saying “you look nice”). Don’t get us wrong, complimenting your partner’s looks are important, however there are other ways…

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How to Stop the Never-Ending Money Arguments

By Communication, Conflict 3 Comments

Arguments over money are inevitable. Money is a hot topic and according to research is usually the number one source of conflict for couples in marriages. Money represents power, and is the source for meeting needs and wants. Because of this, it’s easy to feel like you have to protect yourself when a conversation with your spouse comes up about money. And feeling the need to protect your values and needs can often spiral into an argument. Money talks will rear their head from time to time in your relationship, it’s unavoidable and is an important conversation that’s necessary in…

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Why Celebrating Your Spouse is Important: Part 2

By Communication 2 Comments

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.” – William Shakespeare Last week we started our two-part series on how celebrating our spouse can sculpt a positive marriage. By saying positive comments, celebrating good news, and creating an awe wall, you will be well on your way to reinforcing a happy relationship. When we celebrate each other we feel closer, happier, and more secure in ourselves and our relationship. This week, we want to discuss an additional three ways that you can celebrate your spouse. 4. Don’t neglect the celebration of sex There’s no dancing around this topic,…

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Why Celebrating Your Spouse is Important: Part 1

By Communication 11 Comments

“There is no such thing in anyone’s life as an unimportant day.” – Alexander Woolcott Have you ever felt like a part of you was imprisoned or undiscovered in your marriage? Or perhaps your spouse isn’t recognizing all parts of you? And on the contrary – maybe you aren’t recognizing your spouse? Researchers often refer to couples who “sculpt” each other. Both positive and negative moments can take an effect on your relationship by reinforcing patterns both good and bad. This “sculpting” can either reveal more of your partner by celebrating who they are, or if you are negative (or…

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What to Do If Your Spouse’s Friend Betrays Them

By Communication, Conflict One Comment

When we get married, we don’t often think much about how each of our respective circle of friends will continue to change and evolve over time. That’s because we’re focused on our spouse–and rightly so. But the truth is, friendships will come and go like they always have. Betrayal is an incredibly painful experience, and it’s something all of us experience at different times, in different relationships, throughout our lives. So if your spouse has been betrayed by a friend, how do you support them through it? Trust your spouse’s judgment Sometimes, a betrayal can blindside us. But other times,…

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4 Ways to Make More Time for Your Spouse This Fall

By Time No Comments

Summertime is over, family vacations are done, and the school year is in full swing again. If you’ve got kids, their plates are full once again with homework and extracurricular activities. You and your spouse are back in your regular routines as well, and it’s gearing up to be a busy season. You always cherish the family time that comes with summer break and vacations. It’s a great time to not only connect on a deeper level with your children, but spend some much-needed time with your spouse. So once you’re all back to your regular rhythm, how do you…

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Zip Your Lips: How to Protect Your Marriage’s Privacy

By Communication, Conflict 14 Comments

It’s a challenge to deal with an “overly-disclosing” spouse. If this sounds familiar, your spouse may mean no harm…yet they regularly manage to tell their friends or family things you’d rather keep private. We (Leslie and I) struggled with this issue early in our marriage. For Leslie, talking about things I didn’t want repeated outside our marriage was just her way of connecting with her friends. She wasn’t trying to be hurtful…yet, it made me feel sad and violated. Luckily, there’s a happy ending to our dilemma. Because Leslie didn’t want to be the reason I clammed up and stopped…

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