Category

Conflict

How to Handle In-Law Conflict During the Holidays (Part 2)

By | Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family | 4 Comments

Dealing with in-law conflict is hard any time of year…but it’s so much harder during the holidays. Today, we’re continuing the conversation about how to handle issues with your spouse’s parents (or yours) this holiday season. Check out part 1 here. If your spouse rejects your family Maybe, for whatever reason, your spouse dislikes your family. And when they join you at gatherings on your side of the family, they act snarky, sarcastic, rude, or completely uninterested in being there. When you’re trying to manage your spouse’s behavior, that can take all the enjoyment out of your family’s holiday celebrations….

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How to Handle In-Law Conflict During the Holidays

By | Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family | 2 Comments

If you’re engaged or newly married, you might be wondering why holiday in-law conflict is such a big deal…and you might even be thinking of ways to try to avoid is completely. Unfortunately, no matter who your parents are, how much they love you, or how much they support you as a couple, your families are different. Those differences are going to create some inevitable conflict once you’re married…especially when it comes to holiday gatherings. Every family functions by its own unspoken rules; we like to say each family has its own “code,” whether they realize it or not. They…

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Help! My Spouse Wants Me to Make More Money

By | Careers, Communication, Conflict | 9 Comments

You’ve weighed your career decisions, filtered your values and what’s most important to you, and decided on a job that will help you not only bring in a good income, but also balance those values and pursuits in the best possible way for your family–or so you thought. Suddenly, you’re getting outside pressure from your spouse to up your game…and you’re not sure where it’s coming from. Money is a hot-button issue in most marriages, but the it tends to really hit a nerve where individual income is concerned. Whether one or both spouses is working, it’s not uncommon for…

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For Better or For Worse: Dealing With Tough Times in Marriage

By | Communication, Conflict | 24 Comments

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” – Anonymous If you and your spouse know how to navigate the tough times in your marriage, you’ll come out on the other side closer than ever before. Hard times and conflict are inevitable–they’re just a part of life. When you overcome those times together, that can really deepen your sense of partnership. Whether you’re dealing with internal conflicts (disagreement or stalemate, infidelity, health crises, mental illness, etc.) or external conflicts (loss, tragedy, job stress or loss, family or in-law issues, etc.), you’re going…

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It’s Not Me, It’s You: Why Criticism Poisons Happy Marriages

By | Communication, Conflict | 20 Comments

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” – Gary Chapman Criticism is an insidious behavior that comes into our marriage and eats at the core of our identity. Few things will shut down intimacy quite like being criticized or controlled, and it is capable of immobilizing your emotional health and personal growth, especially within your relationship. Nobody enjoys being criticized or picked apart, but it’s especially painful when your spouse–your soul mate–is the one being critical and hurtful to you. It’s demoralizing to be treated this way when…

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3 Reasons Radical Forgiveness is a Must in Marriage

By | Communication, Conflict | 7 Comments

It has been said that marriage is the combination of two very good forgivers. We have found this to be true in our own marriage–many times over! And we’ve observed countless successful relationships that were made up of good forgivers, as well. When you’re in such a close relationship with another human being, it’s inevitable that you’re going to step on each other’s toes. That’s just part of life. The trick is being able to offer forgiveness to one another in a genuine, meaningful way, so that when those times come, you’ll be ready to face them head-on. But What…

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Dicey Dealings: How to Handle Invasive In-Laws

By | Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family | 13 Comments

One of the most difficult situations married couples face is dealing with invasive or controlling in-laws. Maybe they’re critical, nosy, or they monopolize your (or your spouse’s) time. Perhaps they don’t think you can take care of their “baby” as well as they did. Whatever the case, these situations can get dicey in a hurry. In today’s blog post, we’re going to focus on how to deal with invasive in-laws who are making your life as a couple harder than it should be. Have a Heart-to-Heart…With Your Spouse Is your mother-in-law rifling through your things when you’re not home? Has…

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What to Do When Hobbies Steal Your Spouse

By | Communication, Conflict, Time | 15 Comments

Last week, we talked about the importance of sharing hobbies and activities with your spouse. It’s great when the two of you can find common ground and cultivate shared activities, but what happens when your spouse is completely consumed by his or her own hobbies? While it can make life interesting to be married to someone who is so deeply engaged with an activity they love, it can quickly become difficult. Once the honeymoon period has passed, you might find that your spouse begins to gradually move toward his or her favorite pastime–eventually favoring it over spending time together. There…

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6 Ways Substance Abuse Can Destroy Your Marriage

By | Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection | 11 Comments

Addiction is an overwhelming illness whose hallmark symptoms are the physiological craving of, and emotional attachment to, a legal or illegal substance or practice. Most often, we see addictions in the form of substances like alcohol, prescription drugs, and illicit drugs. Substance abuse is devastating to marriages, families, and relationships. It can result in career loss, financial ruin, divorce, estrangement, and even death. Today, we’ll focus on six landmines that substance abuse plants in your marriage when you’re struggling with addiction. For all of these issues, we strongly encourage that you and your spouse seek outside professional help. Consult your…

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Infidelity: Does the Root Cause Matter?

By | Communication, Conflict | 21 Comments

Learning that your spouse has had an affair is a jarring, traumatic emotional experience. For the foreseeable future after the discovery (or your spouse’s confession), you’ll go through a deeply painful mourning period. Everything you believed about your life before this knowledge may be shattered, and you may wonder if you’ll ever be able to trust your spouse again. Picking up the pieces after infidelity is incredibly difficult, but it can be done. The question is, can it be done if your spouse isn’t willing to dig into the why behind his or her actions? Why We Want to Know…

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