Category

Conflict

Communication Disconnect: Why it Can be Hard to Understand Your Spouse

By | Communication, Conflict | 7 Comments

It’s an age-old discussion we’ve all heard, time and time again: men and women find one another difficult to understand. We have heard countless stories from married couples who regularly (and habitually) confuse one another through their differing communication styles. Those differences can create a true disconnect in our relationships with one another. The good news is that even though we might be puzzled by our spouses from time to time, we truly can work together to develop a greater understanding of where they’re coming from. Solving the mystery of the “gender gap” isn’t impossible; we’ll show you why. Men…

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When Not to Talk: 7 Ways to Decide Whether Silence is Best (Part 2)

By | Communication, Conflict, Scripture | 6 Comments

“He who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from troubles.” – Proverbs 21:23 Being silent when you and your spouse are dealing with an unresolved issue is a difficult choice to make, but sometimes, it’s the best choice for the health of your marriage. Last week, we began a two-part series on holding your tongue–and gave you three questions to ask yourself that will help guide your communication decisions. Today, we’re sharing four more. 4. Is one of you being unreasonable? (Or both?) When we’re debating issues that are highly emotional for one or both of us,…

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When Not to Talk: 7 Ways to Decide Whether Silence is Best

By | Communication, Conflict, Scripture | 6 Comments

“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” – Proverbs 10:19 Communication is one of the most important and essential building blocks to a healthy marriage and lifelong love. But sometimes, we can complicate the situations we face with our spouse by over-communicating–and it’s times like these when we need to be able to read each situation and decide whether or not we should continue talking about it. Silence can be a balm when we’re dealing with issues that are highly emotional, unresolved, or which have brought us to a stalemate with…

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3 Ways to Overcome Emotional Distance in Your Marriage

By | Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection, Time | 17 Comments

Lately, you feel like you just can’t connect with your spouse. Maybe he’s not listening to you, or maybe she’s lost interest in activities you used to enjoy together. You might fight a lot—or avoid communicating to minimize conflict. Perhaps you feel like the kids have monopolized your or your spouse’s time to the point that you aren’t getting quality time together anymore. Whatever the case, lately, you’re feeling more and more disappointed in your relationship with your spouse. You’re lonely and discontent, and you’re wondering whether the two of you might be happier apart, rather than staying married and…

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How to Handle In-Law Conflict During the Holidays (Part 2)

By | Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family | 5 Comments

Dealing with in-law conflict is hard any time of year…but it’s so much harder during the holidays. Today, we’re continuing the conversation about how to handle issues with your spouse’s parents (or yours) this holiday season. Check out part 1 here. If your spouse rejects your family Maybe, for whatever reason, your spouse dislikes your family. And when they join you at gatherings on your side of the family, they act snarky, sarcastic, rude, or completely uninterested in being there. When you’re trying to manage your spouse’s behavior, that can take all the enjoyment out of your family’s holiday celebrations….

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How to Handle In-Law Conflict During the Holidays

By | Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family | 2 Comments

If you’re engaged or newly married, you might be wondering why holiday in-law conflict is such a big deal…and you might even be thinking of ways to try to avoid is completely. Unfortunately, no matter who your parents are, how much they love you, or how much they support you as a couple, your families are different. Those differences are going to create some inevitable conflict once you’re married…especially when it comes to holiday gatherings. Every family functions by its own unspoken rules; we like to say each family has its own “code,” whether they realize it or not. They…

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Help! My Spouse Wants Me to Make More Money

By | Careers, Communication, Conflict | 9 Comments

You’ve weighed your career decisions, filtered your values and what’s most important to you, and decided on a job that will help you not only bring in a good income, but also balance those values and pursuits in the best possible way for your family–or so you thought. Suddenly, you’re getting outside pressure from your spouse to up your game…and you’re not sure where it’s coming from. Money is a hot-button issue in most marriages, but the it tends to really hit a nerve where individual income is concerned. Whether one or both spouses is working, it’s not uncommon for…

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For Better or For Worse: Dealing With Tough Times in Marriage

By | Communication, Conflict | 24 Comments

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” – Anonymous If you and your spouse know how to navigate the tough times in your marriage, you’ll come out on the other side closer than ever before. Hard times and conflict are inevitable–they’re just a part of life. When you overcome those times together, that can really deepen your sense of partnership. Whether you’re dealing with internal conflicts (disagreement or stalemate, infidelity, health crises, mental illness, etc.) or external conflicts (loss, tragedy, job stress or loss, family or in-law issues, etc.), you’re going…

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It’s Not Me, It’s You: Why Criticism Poisons Happy Marriages

By | Communication, Conflict | 21 Comments

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” – Gary Chapman Criticism is an insidious behavior that comes into our marriage and eats at the core of our identity. Few things will shut down intimacy quite like being criticized or controlled, and it is capable of immobilizing your emotional health and personal growth, especially within your relationship. Nobody enjoys being criticized or picked apart, but it’s especially painful when your spouse–your soul mate–is the one being critical and hurtful to you. It’s demoralizing to be treated this way when…

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3 Reasons Radical Forgiveness is a Must in Marriage

By | Communication, Conflict | 7 Comments

It has been said that marriage is the combination of two very good forgivers. We have found this to be true in our own marriage–many times over! And we’ve observed countless successful relationships that were made up of good forgivers, as well. When you’re in such a close relationship with another human being, it’s inevitable that you’re going to step on each other’s toes. That’s just part of life. The trick is being able to offer forgiveness to one another in a genuine, meaningful way, so that when those times come, you’ll be ready to face them head-on. But What…

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