All Posts By

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Feb 05
Love6

Money and Marriage: How to Handle Finances Together

By Communication, Marriage 2 Comments

Money is a hot-button topic in marriage and one of the most common things married couples fight about. It takes money to live–and even more if you have children and many expenses every month. It can be very easy to get out-of-step with one another in the finance arena, especially where debt is concerned. The good news is, there’s plenty you can do to productively navigate conversations around finances and debt in your marriage. Let’s look at a few ways you and your spouse can handle money issues together, without staying in constant conflict over it. Be transparent with one…

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Jan 29
Love10

Passive vs. Aggressive Problem Solvers: Which One Are You?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection One Comment

Do you tackle problems head-on with a burning desire to resolve them as quickly as possible? Or would you rather take your time processing a conflict before you speak up about it? As a step toward constructive problem-solving, it’s important to identify whether you solve problems in a passive or aggressive manner. The type of problem solver you are can easily damage the sense of emotional safety in your marriage, so it’s important for you both to get familiar with your problem-solving style–and then compare notes. The Passive Problem Solver People who prefer to deal with issues passively are content…

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Jan 22
Love9

Simple Tips for Making Your Next Date Night Unforgettable

By Marriage, Relationships, Time 8 Comments

Date nights are incredibly important for every marriage. While the days of being a newlywed are often focused on love and romance, life eventually takes over and edges out the time for connecting with your spouse one-on-one. Every couple needs to set aside some time to spend alone together, just focusing on their marriage. Having fun, rekindling romance, and sharing some cherished activities on a date night is a wonderful way to nurture your relationship. Let’s look at six ways you can make your next date night unforgettable! 1. Make it an event. We want you to savor your date…

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Jan 15
Love8

4 Tips for Constructively Resolving Conflict with Your Spouse

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 2 Comments

In last week’s blog post, we discussed five reasons why you shouldn’t wait to resolve a conflict with your spouse. It’s vital to build a relationship based on open communication and trust; allowing conflicts to go on for long periods of time damages both. The good news is, there are many useful strategies and tools available that can help you and your spouse constructively resolve conflict. In our book, The Good Fight, we lay out some ground rules in chapter 5, “Rules for Fight Club”. Today, we want to share a quick overview of these core rules to give you…

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Jan 08
Love2

5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Wait to Resolve a Conflict with Your Spouse

By Conflict, Marriage 9 Comments

Every married couple experiences conflict in their marriage from time to time. None of us want to face difficult situations with our spouse, but conflict and disagreements are part of life. Because many of us would prefer to avoid conflict, we fall into a habit of pushing our problems further and further down the line. Whatever our reasons, it’s clear that fear plays a hand in our avoidance. The problem is, avoiding hard discussions and conflict resolution with your spouse actually makes problems worse and harder to overcome. Let’s take a look at five reasons why you shouldn’t wait to…

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Jan 01
Love6

How to Set New Year’s Resolutions for Your Marriage

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

Once again, it’s time to ring in a new year and reflect on the year that’s past. This is a wonderful time to reflect with your spouse and set New Year’s resolutions for the coming year. Let’s look at a few ways you and your spouse can greet the new year, set goals together, and set yourselves up for success in the coming months. Conduct a Year-in-Review At the end of the year (or the beginning of the new year), take a little time to sit together and talk about the things you’ve experienced together over the past 12 months….

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Dec 24
Love3

6 Tips for a Restful Christmas with Your Spouse

By Marriage, Relationships, Time 5 Comments

The holiday season is a time of year that demands reflection, but it’s also a time when life can feel incredibly stressful. If you want to rest, reflect, and rejuvenate during the holidays, you’ll have to be very intentional about doing so. Today, we want to share some tips for making this Christmas season restful for yourselves and your family. 1. Protect your boundaries. During the holidays, it’s easy to slip into a people-pleasing mode to keep everyone happy. The problem is, that can drain your energy and make you feel stressed and frazzled rather than reflective and joyful. If…

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Dec 18
Love3

10 Ways to Let Go of Control in Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 3 Comments

Being a control freak in your marriage–or in your life, in general–means you don’t exactly make life easy for your spouse. That probably seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? We control because we want to make life feel easier, more predictable, or more secure. But it actually makes the people around us miserable–and it makes us miserable, too. In last week’s post, we discussed the root of most controlling behavior–anxiety–and shared 6 signs that you might be a control freak. This week, we’re going to talk about 10 things you can do about it. 1. Learn how to delegate. Delegating is tough…

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Dec 11
Love3

6 Signs You Might Be A Control Freak In Your Marriage

By Conflict, Marriage 9 Comments

Have you ever been told that you’re a controlling person? Has your spouse told you? Chances are, your first reaction was to deny the allegation. How could they say such a thing? Why would they say it? If your spouse has expressed something similar, it’s important to take a deep dive into your behavior patterns–something that can tell so much about your emotional state. People who are controlling are often riddled with anxiety. To cope with their unwanted feelings, they attempt to control too much, too often. If you reflect on the controlling people you’ve known in your lifetime, chances…

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Dec 04
Love5

3 Reasons Why You Should Walk in Your Spouse’s Shoes

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 8 Comments

In marriage, it’s not always obvious what our spouse needs. It’s not always obvious to them what we need, either. One way to get in better touch with each other’s needs is to cultivate empathy. To create more empathy in our marriages, we need to first walk in each other’s shoes. A simple way to do that is what we call trading places. Simply put, trading places means you picture things from your spouse’s perspective. It helps you get in tune with one another, or reconnect if you’ve drifted apart. Everyone needs to check in with their empathy from time…

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